life ups n downs...

i think ppl who noe me noe wad i'm going to be talking abt...

i've been sick lately
i get better...
den it gets worse again
its not my fault right?
i noe God noes it it is enough
but u noe wad?
its not i dun believe n trust Him anymore
its just i cant live with ppl thinking that i'm lying
why cant they open up their minds n think differently?
see things from another angle?
i noe its not right to think like that
i should trust Him more
but i just cant bring myself to do it
haix
i'm sry God =(
life is so different for me now
i hate going to sch now
i used to love to go to sch
i have lots of fun n caring frens there
but now, after being home for so long
lying on my bed n staring into oblivion everyday,
n trying not to think abt sch work,
n concentrate on getting well,
n hearing so many things from my closer frens in sch,
also experiencing for myself when i go back to sch,
i just hate it
its like i'm given the cold shoulder by almost every1
wad is this?
is there no more humanity in this world?
is there no more love among 1 another?
God loves us n He died for us
He gave us a heart to learn to love
so that we'll be able to be like Him
He wants us to love 1 another
n not leave any1 out
why cant it just happen?
haix

i just dun understand why
even if i do so many things for others
they dun appreciate it
i noe by doing things for others is a way to show love
but i just dun like the idea of being pushed away
whenever i do something
haix

i'm really sry God
i noe i'm judging others n criticizing them
n not showing love to them unconditionally
i'm sry =(
i really need u to help me God
help me pls

i think i'm going to end here
if any1 who sees this has anything to say,
pls comment it in the comments section n not my tagboard
thank you
byebye~